Hillarysworld

Hmg, I loved your article. As the mother of a young adult daughter, I have dealt with some of issues with which you're dealing, and can empathize.

I related particularly to two specific points in your article. The first is that children, even teens, actually need and (on some level) want limits. They may break the rules, but knowing they exist is validation that someone cares enough about them to actually develop the rules and enforce them. In my work with foster teens, many of whom have been in the system for years, I become even more convinced that even the child who protests, argues, and rails against the rules, feels more valued because the rules are in place. Of course, it helps to reasonably explain the purpose of the rules and expectations - just a matter of respect, imo.

The second point that struck home was the importance of helping female children value themselves - for reasons other than how they look. Whether from television or for whatever reason, too many girls see themselves as incomplete, as less than. It is so important to ensure that they develop self-respect and the expectation that they should be treated with respect and with equality. There are too many messages to the contrary in popular culture, media, etc. Girls must be taught from an early age that they deserve the same opportunities as boys, that they are just as capable as the guys, that their real value is in inner beauty - not in meeting some artificial standard of physical appearance.

Thank you for your article. It is becoming increasingly important to educate young women and girls about all aspects of gender equality and the fight for women's rights.

HMG, I agree with what you are saying in the article.. and in fact, I deal with the same issues with my significantly younger kid already. Her bathroom is loaded with makeup and every visit to the mall ends up in Bath and Body works... the skirts are shorter than ever and the eyelashes are growing longer. Sigh!

This holiday season, we are dealing with the issues by rechanneling the energy. Well, I am trying.

It is harder for me as my parents are not nearby.... no one really to talk with to seek some guidance on how they would handle the issue. So, I look to my friends and articles to get a peek into how others deal with these situations. It is tough. We want them to grow.. but not too soon; not before they know how to handle the difficulties that come with it. Sigh..

On TV shows and advertisements..

There is a lot of sexism - blatant, intended to attract male audience.. and a lot of direct marketing that is explicitly about sex.

I object to both... and the TV stays off when my kid is in the room.

This is very sad because she is denied news as a result. In fact, I have to give her explicit small pieces of news of my choosing. Very wrong. But the alternate is to constantly subject her to TV shows sexism, male harmone advertisements and e-Harmony and what have you -- these are bad when kid is in the house; same when we have visitors.. very embarassing. The so called principled channels are replete with these and I refuse to subject her mind to these. Lately, I pause the TV news shows and fast forward through advertisements; DVR has been a blessing. But, I would rather not have sexism on TV.

My kid loves to sing. So, it is music around her all the time. When we are driving somewhere, we talk about singers she listens to and what kind of role models they are. I ask her to tell me what are the messages in the songs.. whether it is a good song or not. So, she is keyed into that type of stuff. I also give her small chores to do so she has a sense of dignity of labor and knows to respect all people regardless of what they do to earn a living for themselves and their family. Not sure what else can be done at individual levels.


Yes, for sure we as TV-watchers need to do something to convey that sexism is unacceptable.

Thanks for speaking out on this issue, HMG. Even my 7-year-old niece isn't immune to these pressures. I remember I was watching TV with her one day and EVERY toy ad that was targeted toward little girls had something to do with fashion or makeup or being a pop star. There was nothing educational, nothing gender-neutral, nothing that was even just harmless fun like those silly Wham-O toys that were popular when I was a kid. These girls are being taught from a very early age that the way they look is what's important. Even though they're too young for bustiers and high heels and tight leather miniskirts, they can purchase dolls that are wearing these things or they can play fashion designer video games.